As I write
this blog I am literally sitting on the bus watching the city of Piura fade
around me as I am heading to Lima, which means that in a few days I will no
longer be a Peace Corps volunteer. That
is such a weird thing for me to say. For
two years it has been that title that has defined what I am doing here, it has
been my excuse behind everything I was doing or sometimes things I wanted to
get out of, it has been my back up in just about every situation. And in just a few days I will be formally separated
from this title that for two years has defined me, and has changed me, and has
been the most significant milestone and amazing adventure of my life up to this
point. There are not enough words to
describe my emotions on saying goodbye to these two years.
I can start
with retracing these past few months from the last blog I wrote. To preface the following I must say that it
hasn’t been my easiest or my favorite part of my 2 year experience in Peru;
sometimes becoming so integrated and having a better level of understanding of
your environment and those in your surroundings can have its disadvantages and
I found this to be a problem from me at my ending in Chipillico.
It’s no
secret that Chipillico is a poor rural community with its own set of problems
that include not having water, any government support, poor health, and the
people just have a tougher life in general.
Well with all that, there is someone else who has added to their
problems and that is the banks. Some genius thought it would be a great idea to
come into my little pueblo and offer loans to these people. It doesn’t take a
rocket scientist to see what harm loans will do to a community of people who
have no solid income and barely know day to day how they will pay to put their
food on the table let alone figure out how to pay a loan payment monthly. However, these people come in and glamorize
everything and these easily influenced people who dream of having a better
life, or a better home, or nicer clothes are quickly convinced to signing the
dotted line.
This was
the problem I saw with my own host family.
Unfortunately their financial problems did start to create problems for
me living under their roof. I watched
the quality of food I was being served change from meats, beans, and occasional
vegetables to fried eggs and rice at every meal. Then, I was constantly being asked to borrow money;
however I learned early on to never let anyone borrow money. But then I would be manipulated into paying
for things, and sometimes out of guilt and simply feeling sorry for them I
would think I was helping pay an electric bill or something and then later
realize the money would go to completely other things. Just like the money I pay monthly for my food. I know I paid for a lot more than a fried egg
and rice for both breakfast and lunch.
Conversations
with my host family began to become very uncomfortable, I would avoid being
alone with my host mom because it would often turn to money and their hardships
that would make me very uncomfortable.
She was famous for talking about my parents and how wealthy they are and
all the things they could do. It didn’t
matter what I said about how they were successful in their lives all they see
are dollar signs and the things they are able to do. Simply trying to show them a picture of my
niece they would analyze the clothes she was wearing and everything else they
could see in room from the background of the picture.
My last few
months with my host my made me very edgy.
It was money stuff it was food issues.
I even started to put back on weight from such a poor diet and they
would feel the need to comment on that, which would infuriate me. I made it a point to stay out of my house
during the day or spend time with my host sisters or the kids. Fortunately for awhile my project kept me
busy and focused on other things.
My
relationship has been a popular topic for gossip for everyone from my host
family to complete strangers. There is
one thing you have to understand about being an American woman in a community
such as Chipillico is that I am literally a celebrity, maybe there are no
paparazzi, but there are people who watch my every move every day. People who I never spoke to would know what
type of crackers I like to buy or if I had gone and bought juice that day. After two years you start to get used to this
kind of stuff. The stuff I didn’t get
used to was the things that get invented about me! Sometimes it can get difficult constantly
battling rumors people make up about you, or just walking into conversations
where everyone is clearly talking about you.
Its part of the job, and part of what it necessary to deal with when you
make a decision so big as to live in a place like that. But sometimes I just want to be me and not
have to worry about what everyone is saying when I walk by.
A few weeks
ago I was put into one of the most difficult situations I have ever experienced
in my life, and the repercussions from it have saddened and infuriated me. To make a long story short, I was put into a
position where I had to rescue a little girl from the arms of a disgusting
drunk who wanted to molest her. Although the situation could have been much
worse, I think I caught it right on the brink of going there. Fortunately I had been there start to finish
and was able to intervene when I got the notion that something was wrong. The situation with the little girl is sad,
she came a few months ago with her beaten up mother from Lima. The mother returned to her jackass womanizer
husband in Lima with her baby, but since the little girl is not the daughter the
husband she left the little girl behind (4 years old) with her completely out
of it grandmother. What kind of woman
does that?!?!?!?! So this drunken
predator knows the background and thought it was his chance to swoop in. The drunk tried to confront me which only
escalated the situation for me and made the entire town aware of what had
happened.
And what happened? Apparently the entire town
is also aware that this man has a history with this type of behavior and has
been successful on several occasions. My
host family had me confront the wife, who is a good friend of my family. She defended her husband as a drunk and asked
me if “he touched the little girl, or she touched him”, probably the craziest
question I have ever heard in my life!
Days went on and I searched out what I could do. The police weren’t going to do anything
because drunks have rights in this country!
Believe it or not, being drunk is an excuse to a major crime. And the local Rondas (neighborhood
vigilantes) couldn’t help me either because it was my word (the American who
came to the community to help out) against the drunken pedophile! INCREDIBLE!!! People then proceeded to trash
me; the wife came up with another story saying she witnessed the whole
thing. Then another neighbor I have
issues with proceeded to tell everyone I was nothing more than a liar. The drunk even commented that he didn’t
really care because he knew I was leaving in just a month!
So as you
may see, I lost a lot of faith in Chipillico.
More that everyone knows it and no one does anything about it. This is how it is in everything, because the
amount of child molestation and prostitution that happen in my community of
1700 people is absolutely terrible.
The only
thing that restored a little of the belief that there is goodness in some
people was that the Aunt of the little girl (who was also in my project)
believed me from the rumors she had heard about the situation. She asked me host family about it, and the
little girl confirmed the man had been touching her. Since then she has taken the little girl in
and is getting the care she needs and that is enough for me.
So all that
and other things are what leave me here writing about my indifference of
leaving Chipillico. But if you have been
reading my blogs over the last two years you also know there are so many
reasons I also fell in love with Chipillico and most of them have resulted from
working with some amazing women (the moms of my project) and seeing success
from that, but mostly I fell in love with the little people, those little kids
have my heart! And they were the
hardest people to leave.
My host
family threw me a going away dinner and we ate my favorite roasted chicken at a
big family style table with the 17 people who ended up making up my host family
over these two years. Then the health
promoters and the mothers of my project also threw a party, we ate and drank
and danced and it was a great way to have my final send off. I am leaving so very proud of that group of
women. They have taught me so much.
I think a
part of me is still in some sort of shock a little, I was watching some the
videos I had taken during my time in Chipillico the other day and was just
thinking how normal that life felt to me.
I think I will realize how much I miss it when I get home. Right now I just feel like I am on a vacation
from Chipillico, but when I really leave this country and know that everyone
isn’t just a bus ride away that I may struggle with missing them. 
I didn’t
want this last blog to be on a negative note.
But these were also some of the truths of my experience that I wish
didn’t have to be. Chipillico will
always hold an incredibly special place in my heart for a number of
reasons. I am not returning home the
same person that left. I said there were
two things I hoped to gain from this experience, they were passion and
patience. The patience part is
questionable at times, but the passion is a given. I will never be able to look at the world the
same after having been a part of a community such as Chipillico. It has made me a better person and I am
forever grateful to all that community and my host family did by opening its
doors and lives to me.
Now it’s time to close out this chapter, I will
formally leave Peace Corps this week and return back to Piura as just Jillian
to spend a few more weeks with Edgar before we move onto the next chapter
together.
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