Fidelity....Abstinence??!?!?!

Last night I had a very sad chat with my host Mom.  We were talking about how some people get excited about getting pregnant.  She told me that out of her 9 children there wasn't a single one she was ever excited about, she said each time she was just disappointed.  She had her first child when she was 15 with a man who she didn't love or even like, her mother had married her off in hopes that it would lessen the burden of her own children in the house.  The man badly abused her.  She said that at 15 she was just a kid and didn't know what to do and was so scared of the responsibility of a child, then even worse with her second and then worse with the third.  After the third, her first husband left her and she found herself living with her Mom again trying to support 3 children.  At this time she met my current host Dad and he was willing to marry her even though she already had 3 children, this is actually a foreign concept I have found.  Many men are very machisto and don't have any interest in a woman who have children already.  It's like they are dried up old ladies.  However, my host Dad liked her and they continued to have 6 more children together.  My host mom said even with her current husband having more children was never exciting it was more mouths to feed when they could barely feed the ones they had.  However, my host Dad believes that birth control is only for "sluts".  How nice ...right?

Funny thing though, is I feel that you find many more less female "sluts", then you find of male sluts while living in the campo.  For example, my host Dad has another kid about the same age of my youngest host sister he fathered with a woman in my town.  So does the husband of my host sister and many of the other men simply living on my street.  My site mate Brittany's host Dad is believed to have a whole other family that he splits his time with. 

I know cheating isn't that foreign of a concept, our own country has it's fair share of the same problems.  It just seems like it's incredibly more frequent here.  Some of the repercutions are dangerous as well.  For example, my boyfriend was working in a small town in the sierra when they got a call about a man that had been shot.  Turns out the story was that he was a single man who was sleeping with a married woman, and the married woman's husband and friends came to his house to kill him.  So when Edgar got there all that was left was the man outside of his house dead on the ground of gunshot wounds.  Moral of story...don't sleep with married people.  And it's not the first time that this sort of thing has happened, like in one of my previous blogs a girl was thought to be posioned because her father was sleeping around as well.

So what is my philosphy on the fidelity issues of the campo people?  I have many different theories.  First is that many of these couples get married young because they got pregnant young, and many times when a couple is found to be pregnant they are instantly considered married.  The families of the young couples strongly encourage it.  Therefore, a one night fling turns into a lifetime together and in many situations neither spouse ever wanted that life together.  So with time, one or both of the spouses strays from the other because they aren't happy or there isn't any type of relations happening in the home anyway.

There is also another concept, I realized from some of my sessions in the school that the teenagers are virtually unaware of birth control or any type of contraceptive and absolutely clueless to what abstinence is.  Unfortunately due to the extremely timid nature of the girls I think a lot of times they get pressured into having sex with their boyfriend without having enough self esteem or assertiveness to stand up for themselves.  Without knowing they can protect themselves they end up pregnant and again stuck with their partner for a lifetime.  Also, since they live in the campo and most of the men work to provide for the family, when things go sour in the relationship the woman has virtually zero options to leave her husband.    So more often then not, the woman turns a blind eye to her husband's infidelity for lack of options.  It's really sad. 

Even more sad, is in a community like mine the spouses know the person they are being cheated on with, and so does everyone else in the community.  It is a sad life to live.  It is also very sad that most people have zero trust in others.  For example, when I met my boyfriend, I am constantly asked whether or not he has another family, possibly kids in the city.  In fact I am still asked this question up to this day after many months together.  It is very hard for the people in my community to trust others, and it is very frustrating at time to defend or try and convince them that there are good, honest, and fair people in this world.  But based on the number of cases in my community, I understand the mistrust. 

My hope is that as this country develops women, children, families are given more legal rights.  And that a spouse does not just have to turn their heads and bare an unhappy marriage.  And that the people will be more acceptable of the "single mom".

Sometimes I think I live in a movie....

This pictures has nothing to do with the Witch I just love her!

No its true, sometimes I think I live in a movie, except I dont know from what time period or what type of movie.  I just know that the stuff that keeps happening in this little town of mine cant be real.  For example, about a week ago the WITCH struck again!  Yes, an 18 year old girl in my town died of unknown causes and of course the only way the town could explain how this happened was that it had to do with witchery.  Of course right, the most obvious logical explanation in the entire world. 

Bascially this girl had been losing a dramatic amount of weight in the weeks leading up to her death.  She was also complaining of sharp pains in her abdomen.  The family "says" they took her to the doctor in another town and none of the tests showed anything.  Then, as she was dying she would throw up and there would be sediment in her vomit.  This immediatly alerted everyone into believeing the witch was behind all of this.
There are two theories: the first of which involves the girls best friend, another girl of the same age, apparently she was jealous for whatever reason and bought something from the witch to poison her friend.  My host sister even showed me a picture of this girl in a school photo....thus the people of chipillico are probably destroying this little girls life for absolutely no reason.  The other theory is that the father of the girl who passed away was sleeping around with married women and their husbands got mad and bought something from the witch to posion his daughter as pay back. 

Do you think and autopsy or investigation or police report...or ANYTHING was done when this little girl died?  NOPE!!!!!!  The town mourned, barried the girl and blamed the witch.  Stories started coming up about the witch having gone to the cementary and was digging up bodies a few weeks before the little girl fell ill. 

O yeah...and the witch is a living breather woman and mother in Chipillico.  I know her personally, and am in fact here at the internet cafe today looking up information on how she could stimulate her child with downs syndrome to walk.  No, I am not a huge fan of this woman, I think she is rude and filthy, but it is my job to support the people of chipillico and try and keep from judging anyone.  The thing is this woman has many children with physical and mental problems, I do believe she drinks or does some kind of odd drugs when she is pregnant.  But I dont believe she is selling potions made of dead people to kill other people in the town.  And I am incredibly dissappointed that no one in my town take a greater stance when a young girl dies unexpectedly without cause.

I was also asked to go take pictures at the girls funeral as a memory to the family.  But you MUST BE KIDDING to think I would ever take pictures of some young dead girl and print them for the family.  NEVER!!!  So I did not go to any of the events to avoid these problems.

So on a different note, yesterday 3 cars and a bus were robbed leaving the valley.  Apparently "bandits" put rocks in the road so the cars could not pass and would come running down from the hills with guns to rob everyone.  Its just insanity.  I dont think anyone was hurt.  But I know lots of money was stolen.  And of course since the police have practically and unworking motorcycle it took a half an hour for them to reach the scene of the crime.  It happened 3 times before anything could be reported.  Its just amazing to me that anyone would think to rob people leaving Chipillico.  Many of you have seen the pictures I post from my town, these people do not have money!   I feel terrible that these things happen to them.  Plus it makes me a little nervous to travel.  Again....when was the last time you heard of a bus getting held up by "bandits" who put up a rock barricade and run down from the hills....something out of a movie right??????

Edgar and I in Chulucanas.

Lastly....I am a little embarrassed to say.  But I was in the city the other day and ended up being very sick. Not sure what caused it.  I was with Edgar...so he asked me for a black shirt and to lay down, which I did.  He then proceeded to use the black shirt to clean my energy.  So he cleaned the space directly above me body front and back.  This was after he put his finger in my belly button (like most host sister does) to feel if I had any shame.  He said he couldnt feel my shame because I was laughing so hard.  He promised I would feel better after he had cleaned my energy.  I did, but I believe it was the many pills I bought before this little session that my doctors had recommened that did the trick!!!!

As much as I love this place I am worried its turning me crazy!!!

My Pilgrimage to Ayabaca

Ayabaca

So I made my pilgrimage to Ayabaca.  No, i didn't go on foot, I am not that brave.  But after seeing how high up Ayabaca is set in the foothills of the Andes and the endless mountains surrounding it, I have a newfound respect for those who make the long pilgrimage on foot with children, baring crosses, or carrying fallen members of their group.  It was an amazing experience!

Edgar and I let from Piura early Saturday morning.  I knew that I was not going to enjoy the trip when I asked Edgar why someone was filming us on the bus.  He said it was in case the bus goes over the mountain and they have to identify or look for our bodies.   That definitely left an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach as I was reminded how much I love trips into the mountains on buses that sometimes look like they are held together with duct tape.  But I try to remind myself that tons of people make the trip every single day and these people know what they are doing...I hope.

About an hour or so as we began ascending into the mountains (about 3 hours into our trip), we stopped at this little town of only about 3 or 4 houses where we could use the bathroom and buy snacks.  Edgar knowing my love for tortillas pointed out a lady selling tortillas and cheese.  One of my absolute favorite things about the country.  It is something only usually found in the sierra, exactly where we were. The only other time I have had them when we were not in the sierra was in Edgar's house because his family is from the sierra and his mom makes them from time to time.   So we got our tortillas and something to drink, and watched the driver and his partner throw buckets and buckets of water into engine of the bus (always a reassuring sign).

We continued higher and higher into the mountains.  With as much fear as I have of heights it was impossible to keep the curtains closed of my bus window, the views are absolutely amazing.  So I snapped lots of pictures even though I was scared to death!   

Late afternoon we reached Ayabaca.  It is a little city that appears in the middle of nowhere set on the side of this mountain with again, spectacular views.  Our first task was to find a hotel room.  Even though the actual party celebrating Senor Cautivo was a few days before the city was still full of people.  Many of those who had made the pilgrimage were no longer there, only a few lingered.  There was more people like us, who thought they would make the trip after all the craziness.  The hotels were well aware of people like us and were charging outrageous amounts for a room.  I thought we would save money on hotels on this trip but I was very wrong. 

After we got settled we set out to see what was going on and find something to eat.  We walked over to the church, the center of the pilgrimage.  We waited in line and entered a room off to the side of the main entrance of the church.  It was filled with hundreds of purple robes adorned in gold designs and jewels.  Edgar told me they are the robes that they change the figure of Senor Cautivo just as robe of a priest is changed depending on different celebrations within the church.  He said he was there one time out of pure luck when they changed the robe.  There is a committee responsible for the figurine, so when it is time to change him the lock all the entrances of the church and bring him down into the room, he just happened to be left behind one time in the church to see it take place. 

We waited in line for stairs that entered into the church and went up and behind the figurine of Senor Cautivo that we displayed high on an altar.  The altar was covered in flower and candels and there were people in the church burning candels in observance.  When we reached the top, the case of Senor Cautivo is enclosed however one of his purple velvet cloaks hands outside the case.  The tradition is that many people carry cotton and rub the cotton along the window of the case and make wishes.  Another part of the tradition is to touch touch the cloak and make a wish.  I wasn't sure what to expect or what to do, so I watched others before me.  People were in tears many would linger for long periods of time rubbing their faces into the cloak as well.  There was a very solemn feeling in the air, almost as if I were at a funeral. 

The altar of Senor Cautivo

When I got to the cloak I touched it, made my wish, with a little hesitance.  I have always been taught that church is not a place for wishes or to ask for miracles, you pray, praying is NOT wishing, so I wished for nothing more then something I would pray for.  Edgar did the same behind me.  Then we made our way through the various people crying and hugging in the stairwell down into the church. 

The pews had been removed from the church to make room for the people who made the pilgrimage on foot to sleep.  There were not many anymore.  The really interesting and confusing thing was that the floor was absolutely covered in candle wax.  You could not see the floor at all.  Edgar said that people burn candles in observance of Senor Cautivo, some burn handles in holders, some on the floor and other let then candles burn completely out in their hands.  Afterwards, people from the town come and scrape up the way and sell it as a momentum of the celebration.  There were many people still burning candles on the floor. 

Candles burning on the floor of the church

We hung around in the church for awhile, took pictures, observed the different people and their traditions.  It was truly very interesting. Afterwards we walked the streets and checked out the vendors selling mountains of Senor Cautivo relics.  Later we found a lady selling tortillas and coffee and we ate our dinner. Edgar found a vendor who had cow heart on a stick....he was really excited.  It was difficult to be outside because it was incredibly cold, I am not used to that kind of cold.


The next morning we got up and went and checked out the city during the day light.  We found some great spots to take pictures.  We were so happy that we had visited the church the day before because now the line wrapped around the church a few times, where the night before we had only waiting minutes.  There were the normal vendors and people putting on shows.  There was a guy with a monkey and if you gave him a sole he would pull a little slip of paper out of drawer that held your future.  I did it, but I am pretty sure it wasn't my future, but the monkey was cute. 

We had decided that after how much the hotel cost and after we practically had seen all Ayabaca had to offer that only one night was sufficient so we bought our tickets to come back home.

Beautiful views

I just kept thinking about this pilgrimage, over the past week or so it has been one of the most amazing things I have seen.  But I couldn't completely wrap my mind around the very intense devotion these people have to this saint.  They also are devout Catholics and believe it is a very important pilgrimage to make as a catholic.  Which is interesting to me as well as a Catholic knowing that we do not have these particular ways of celebrating Catholicism in the United States.  One thing that has always fascinated and made my proud of my religion was the very old beliefs and traditions, however, this one was not one I had ever heard of.  The more intriguing part is that Senor Cautivo isn't even a saint that once lived or did anything spectacular.  But it dawned on me why this is so important, even though Senor Cautivo isn't a person, he is a figure and the story of how he came to be has to do with a miracle of God.  So these people make this pilgrimage not necessarily to see a figurine but because it puts them close to God.  That is the explanation for the extreme emotion, being close to Senor Cautivo is being close to a miracle they strongly believe in.  Although it was a little strange and uncomfortable to me in the moment, it was also something beautiful. 

I believe very much in my religion, but it made me feel like we weren't apart of the same religion.  These people have an incredibly amount of faith that I am not even sure I can compare to.  I have such respect for their beliefs even though I think the way the practice it might be a little different but it is something so sacred to them that made me wish I had something to compare it too.  However in the end, when the priest began his mass, it was the same as it would be if I were sitting in church back home, at the end of the day we are the same.

Us waiting for our Tortillas

The windy roads

Those who spend the night on the floor of the church

 

Senor Cautivo

I may walk away from my two years only have given my community something small, but I will definitely walk away with a mountain of incredibly experiences my community has given me!

Last week was the pilgrimage to Ayabaca.  This was something I have heard about, but finally experienced.  Let me give a little background information.  Senor Cautivo is the patron saint of Piura.  Basically his story is like this, many many years ago the people of Piura wanted to have a figure to represent them.  So they locked three men into a room to carve the figure.  The request of the men was that no one was allowed to come in for 3 days.  So the people of the town slipped the food to them through a tiny door, but there came a point that the plates were not being returned, and when they would knock no one would answer. In the end, when the people of the town became worried enough, they opened the doors, and there was this beautiful figure of Senor Cautivo and the people who created it were not there.  The believe it was an act of God.  Therefore Senor Cautivo has become the figure of Piura, and since more then 90% of peruvians are catholic it is also a catholic figure as well. 

So every year, in October, people from all over travel to Ayabaca, many on foot, to make the pilgrimage to celebrate their patron saint.  There are many routes to take, but one of the primary routes takes the people through Chipillico.  So the people of Chipillico prepared for the pilgrimage by painting and cleaning up the church and filled the plaza with tents where everyone would cook for the travelers and provide a place for them to sleep in rest. My host Mom participated in this with her "business" and took pretty much everything from the house and set up her little tent to cook.  The food is relatively inexpensive, in terms of dollars, the largest plate of food you could by was no more then 3 soles which is equal to 1 dollar. 

Since my host Mom was cooking in the plaza I went for all the meals and helped clean tables and wash dishes and run to buy more food when needed.  I was also asked to you my americaness to help bring in travelers.  Most of the travelers came in large groups, and when they reached the city center they would pull out instruments and play their music, so they would come in dancing and singing.  Most of them wearing purple with information about where they are from.  Some of the groups also had representatives that would come in crawling not on hands and knees but more of an army crawl, they believe that they were the ones being sacrificed for their beloved Senor Cautivo.  Other groups came into town bearing large crosses made of wood (with wheels), this was to signify the struggle Jesus underwent.  It was incredible.  They would stay and rest, wash clothes, eat.  Some would stay a few hours and go back on walking.  Others would stay for the night. 

One night I was hanging out in the Plaza with  Edgar until about 11:00 watching everything. When we got up to leave we realized there were people sleeping for all parts of the plaza and the town.  It was like a giant sleepover with hundreds of people sleeping wherever they could find space.  We had to search for a little trail to get out!  However it was a surreal experience, I am used to Peruvians generally being rude to each other.  No one trusts anyone.  However, it was amazing to see all these people sleeping and the people of Chipillico with their tents for them to sleep under were kind of hanging out keeping watch in a way.  It was like everyone felt a part in th pilgrimage even the ones that couldn't go were doing their duty cooking and having a place for these people to rest.  I just really was a heart warming moment.  It made me love the people of Chipillico even more.

So this weekend Edgar and I are going up to Ayabaca to see where it all ends.  No, I won't be going on foot, but I will be going in a bus.  I am really excited so see what it is all about.

Funerals and Fiestas

What a week it has been!  I am sitting in Starbucks for the day just to escape the craziness of my town for a few hours!

On my way back to site this past Monday after a weekend of spanish class and celebrating, I got a text from my site mate BJ who was a few hours ahead of me on the trip.  He was in a taxi heading into our valley with relatives of my host family, they were in town because the sick uncle in my house had passed away the previous day.  I wasn't surprised to get the news because  the past couple weeks had been pretty rough for him.  He had been suffering from some kind of cancer for a long time.  I can't be exactly sure because he NEVER went to the doctor's, but it was pretty evident he was very sick with something.  I believe everyone knew we were in his last days because each day was getting increasingly worse.

So although the news wasn't surprising, I instantly became sick to my stomach.  I knew a little bit about the mourning process in my site, and I think for so long I had been dreading that experience that I became incredibly nervous.  I called up a friend of mine to get advice on escaping, I was really scared to go to my house.  I was almost really sure that I was going to go back and instantly turn around and leave for a few days.  However the closer and closer I got the more disappointed I became with myself.  I am not that type of person.  A dead person is not that scary to me after having worked at the hospital for so long, and I would be a huge jerk to walk away from my family.  So I decided I was going to stick it out.

So from what I do know, normally the body of the deceased lies on a table in the living room for a number of days so people can come and observe.  The part that made me nervous is that the body would be untreated, and right now it is pretty hot during the day and it just kind of grossed me out.  Also, I knew that Peruivans can be very dramatic when faced with a death and I was afraid I was going to be really uncomfortable seeing my family like that.

Well when I got to the house, the body was on our dining room table in the living room.  He was dressed in a traditional blue and white robe, very similar to what a priest wears in church, and there were flowers and candles surrounding him.  There were many people in the living room, but fortunately no one was reacting too crazy, just sitting around chatting.  But as I got closer to my room, I realized there was a ridiculous amount of people in my house, my host family has family all over the country, and they ALL came!!!!!!!  I went to find my host Mom first and she was a little teary, but really more interested in borrowing my air mattresses to accomodate all of the people.  The uncle's children were there.  I have to admit I am a little bitter towards them.  Because the uncle has been living with us for a very long time, and I have only seen his son on 2 occasions totaling a week at the most, and when he is there he does nothing.  And the daughter has been in the house for a few weeks, but she often didn't feel like doing anything for her father and would ask that no one would say her name so he wouldn't know she was there at times. That always made me mad, because my host mom waits on him night and day without ever complaining and I thought having his daughter there would give her a break a little, apparently not.

But of course the 2 children played the biggest victim cards, walking around moping very dramatically, while my poor host mom held herself together and continued to run circles around everyone trying to make sure everything was just right.

Fortunately I got home the evening of the second night, so when I woke up the next morning the body had been chemically treated and put away in the casket. Around noon many people came to the house from all over for the first mass.  My host Mom asked me to take pictures.  Afterwards the casket was carried through the town to the church for a second mass and everyone follows along in the procession.  After a short mass in the church, we paraded back through the town where the school band had joined us and made our way to the cementary.  From the day the uncle died my host Dad had been there trying to prepare a cement tomb, so we worked our  way there.  There was another short mass, and different people said words.  The most touching part was a teacher from the school had come, and remember a time when he was at my host sister's cantina drinking and playing his guitar and the uncle went outside to listen and sang along.  I remember that day when he was out there, and I remembered the song because it was a song he sang everyday many many times, ALWAYS, so it was really sweet.

There was a little window in the casket over his face, so the window was opened and many people came up to pay their final respects and the casket was placed into the tomb and was sealed off and we all went home.  Part of the tradition is that the family prepares meals for the days that the body is in observance and the day of the funeral for all.  So a make-shift kitchen had been set up in our back yard and the neighbors helped my host mom cook in gigantic pots over fire for everyone.  After the funeral the entire town was invited for lunch and I feel like practically the entire town showed up.  I was helping serve food and it felt like it was never ending.

One convienient part of the entire funeral was that the uncle died the sunday before the anniversay of chipillico was taking place.  So all the people who had come to town for the funeral also decided to stay for the party.  And more continued to show up throughout the week.  I believe there were close to 20 people alone staying in my house and then more family spread out between my 2 host sister's houses and one more of our close neighbors.

The town was completely transformed into a huge market, where people came from neighboring cities to sell clothes and stuff.  There were toys for the kids to play on and games.  There were lots of food vendors.  It was just packed full of stuff and people!    I took the kids a few nights and played lots of games.  The loved it!  I also got some really really good grilled chicken which always makes me really excited.

It wasn't really a week of much work because everyone was pretty invested in the party.  Yesterday the last day of the party there was a parade where they had a figure of the patron saint of Piura they paraded through the town. And a huge dance that went on all night long!  I have had little sleep this week, not because I was partying but I could hear everyone else partying.  And when you live in a house made of mud and there are 20 people sleeping there, there isn't much quiet time.

So that has been my week, and why I believed I deserved to escape to some Starbucks today.

One year.....

All I could think about on Friday was how one year on that same date I woke up early in a Holiday Inn in Georgetown to meet my Dad in the lobby with another suitcase for me to take with me later that day to Peru,  in tears.  Not just a few tears a lot of tears.  I hugged my Dad and didn't want him to let go or leave.  It was in those moments that I realized how big the decision I had made to join the peace corps was.  I was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of leaving my family and friends behind and virtually my whole life to spend two years away from them in Peru. 

I don't look back on that day and think how crazy I was for being so upset, I look back on it thinking how much one year in Peru has changed me.  It has made me braver and stronger.  I went from the girl who lived in Maryland her whole life, and the most exotic place she had been was a family vacation in a beautiful resort in Mexico for a week, to the girl who lives in a rural town in northern Peru, where everyone speaks a different language.  Wow!  What a change a year can make! 

I think everyday how welcomed I was into the country, and more importantly into Chipillico.  I love my country, but it is very rare that anyone in the United States would let someone live with them for 2 years or walk into their place of work and try and find ways to help the community.  The people in Chipillico have done this for me.  Along the way they have taught me an amazing amount of things, and  as much as I have patience with the cultural differences I am not used to, they have an amazing amount of patience with me stumbling through the language at times and trying to make changes to their way of living (just trying to help out).   I am also in shock sometimes as to how used to things I have never experienced before in my life.

Above all, one of the most important things that has happened to me is not a thing it's more of people.  I know that I owe a large portion of getting through this experience to the friends that I have made.  Brittany, Aman and BJ are my sanity sometimes.  As much as my family is 100% supportive emotionally and with stuff, my friends here are the ones that "get it", when a peruvian says or does something crazy it's so easy to talk to them and know they will understand, or a meeting or a presentation goes bad, odds are they experienced the same thing in the same week.   Then, when we have the opportunity to get together and be crazy and vent and just have fun it is always more worth it.  And of course having Edgar has changed my experience for the better, I do not know what I do without him as well. 

I think the most important part of finishing up the first year and starting to feel more accomplished.  It has been a year full of trainings and now it is starting to feel like I am completely on my own and making moves to really dive into my own projects.  So it feels good, I am a true volunteer at this point and as difficult as it at times to get things accomplished it is still happening and it makes me really happy.

So here goes year number 2, I can't wait to see what happens, and I look forward to what I will have to write about in these next months!

Almost a year....

Here I am a few days away from marking my year in Peru and still I have those moments where I am in awe of my life here.  It still seems surreal, but incredible.  This past weekend I was with Edgar, he had taken me site seeing a little bit in Peru.  We ended up in this one town where there was a parade and it the music, colors, costumes, smells and everything was amazing.  It was like watching a movie, except I was a part of it.  As we made our way home the sun was setting over the rice fields and I just kept thinking about a year or two ago when I read "Eat, Pray, Love" and was just so envious of an adventure like that.  Here I am living mine, and I have done it for almost a year, and I still have a year left.  Only so much more to look forward too.

After the home invasion a few weeks ago, things have calmed down, but it has been int he back of everyone's heads.  The rumors have also been flying so I am not sure what to believe.  However, September is a busy month with the anniversary of the valley including the schools.  This has got everyone excited and I can definitely feel that something huge it coming.

Me and my host nephew Paul waiting for the contest to begin.

The elementary and preschool queens!

The other day I had the honor of serving as a judge in the "Miss Chipillico" contest.  That was interesting!  There were girls from preschool, elementary and high school in the pageant.  There would be a winner from each part.  I served as a judge alongside the doctor, Miss Las Lomas, and an engineer from Las Lomas as well.  The girls came out in their "sports wear", cutural costumes, and evening attire.  They also had to each answer a question.  I must admit, I was blown away.  These kids acted like they were born to walk the runway.  Even down to the little girls.  They costumes were amazing, and everyone had great answers to their questions.  It was a hard contest to judge.  However, some of the girls made it easy for me to deduct points.  Even though I know skimpy outfits are apart of their culture, I don't agree with little girls looking sexy, so there were minus points on that.  As well as for one girl her came out licking her finger and "dropping it like it's hot", I think she thought it was a music video set.  But I believe the teachers were trying to keep it classy!!!  In the end I was happy with who we choose at winners and very impressed with how much work each girl, as well as the teachers had put into the contest.  However, in true peruvian fashion, they managed to keep an invent that was scheduled to begin at 4:30 going well into the night.  I was asked to present the high school Miss Chipillico, however, at around11pm when the band was playing and everyone was drinking  and no final crowning anywhere in site, I had to quietly sneak out. 

In true fashion of peruvians loving to celebrate everything, we also had a little presentation for the elderly the other day in the health post.  Since I have lots of experience working with this population I took the lead.  It was really fun actually, they were really intersted, more so because 2 of them were going to win a can of ensure at the end of the presentation.  However, this has inspired me to do work with this population, not one of my goals as a volunteer, but I am going to make it a secondary project.  I think it could be really fun, I am thinking about starting a mini exercise class like there used to be when I worked at healthsouth.  I think they would love it!

Full house for the chat.

Home Invasion

In Chipillico news for the week, there was a home invasion
the other day.  Apparently 5 guys came in a car yesterday to a house of a
lady who lives on my street looking for money.  They were watching at
the bank and saw she withdrew a large loan over the weekend, 86,000 soles which is roughly 31,000 dollars.  For a peruvian in my site, this is an incredibly amount of money. .  So they
came to steal it.  They pinned her to the ground and tore her house
apart.  In the meantime neighbors realized what was happening and came
running with rocks.  But the guys had guns and they escaped.  2 in a
car, and 2 with the money took off running for the hills.  The word
had spread quick so by the time the car reached another town on the
way out of the valley, the people had set up a rock barricade and were
throwing rocks at the two remaining robbers.  Once the police got to
them they were covered in blood from everyone throwing rocks at them.
Unfortunately the money was not recovered but they got a few guys out
of the group.  I swear I really wonder where I am sometimes, it´s like
living in a movie.  The entire town has been really freaked out.  My family and I were joking how if someone came to our house we would just hand over the keys and welcome them to anything that we have.  I don't even have anything that valuable so I don't think we will have anyone coming after us.

My 27th Birthday.

I decided to spend my birthday in site, even though I was coming back from a training and there were lots of volunteers in the city who were going out celebrating.  My host family and boyfriend were making a bigger deal out of my birthday then I was.  Edgar had a countdown.  So I felt like since it wasn’t a big deal to me, but it was to them, I would spend my time with them.

The morning of my birthday I got lots of hugs and birthday wishes.  They kept asking me what animal I wanted them to kill for my special birthday lunch.  I asked them to just pretend it was a normal day and I did not want anything special.  But, my host mom had already killed one of her hens that morning for me.  She said it even had eggs in side so it was like a special hen, my breakfast and lunch all in one.  How disgusting right?!?! 

I got tons of text message from Edgar all day, even though he was right down the street.  He looks at each holiday or birthday or whatever we spend together as a really big deal.  So I thought it was sweet and had plans with him later that night. 

I treated the day like normal, went and did my laundry and normal chores.  It was really funny, they wanted to know the exact time I was born.  So when that time came around, I was outside hanging my laundry and my host sister and host mom coming running out and were really disappointed I was doing laundry at the exact time I was born.

Later, I went and talked to my Dad for awhile on the phone. It was around lunch time.  I felt really bad because when I got back to the house, I found out that everyone had been there waiting for me to celebrate my birthday lunch, but I took to long that they all went ahead and ate without me.  So I ate my HUGE cold plate alone.  She made me noodles, with chicken, potatoes with a sauce I love, and this beet, carrot, salad I like too.  So I ate the chicken, potatoes, and beet salad, but they were really upset with me when I didn’t eat all the noodles.  They always do this to me, I always eat the more nutritious stuff on my plate and leave behind the noodles or rice and they tell me I don’t eat enough.  When you have rice with every meal it comes to the point where enough is enough and I reached that point months ago. 

Later that night, I got all prettied up and went to the police station to hang out with Edgar.  I had to lie to my family and say we were going to another party, that we weren’t, in order to get a little more time to hang out with him.  Usually I try and be respectful and come back to the house between 10 and 10:30 because our front door locks from the inside and I feel guilty waking them up to get in the house.  But it was my birthday and the weekend, so they didn’t care about me coming in late.  So I went to see what Edgar had planned.  He was so excited, he had gone and bought us dinner from someone who was cooking on the street.  The chicken when they cook out like that is so good, so I was really excited.  So we had our little dinner just the two of us.  He gave me a gift and a sweet card.  One of the kids of one of my health promoters came by with a gift too, it was a cute jewelry box. 

Overall, it was a very simple and quiet birthday.  But I really enjoyed it.  The only thing that could have made it better would have been a smith island or cheesecake.  But I will just have to wait until my 29th birthday when I am home to get that. 

Amor

To my surprise, and I think most other people in my life, I have actually met someone here in Peru and have been seeing him for about 3 months.  I swore up and down that I would not date a Peruvian, there were just too many differences and I thought it would be really hard to communicate.  Well, that changed! 

His name is Edgar, he is a police officer in my town, and initially I met him when I got robbed and he was helping me with a police report.  But at that point we didn’t really get to know each other, he was really serious.  Then, about 2 weeks later we ended up as godparents at the early childhood stimulation center opening.  There, he made a lot of effort to talk to me and we had to dance a lot together.  So from then on, we would run into each other and sit and talk a lot and it just evolved.

I think the first thing I really liked was that I was able to actually have a deeper conversation with someone in my site.  Usually my conversations with people are “going to do your laundry?”, “it is hot today”, “do you like the food”.  That is usually as far as the conversations go.  No one cares about my life before Peru, let alone my name….I am usually referred to as “gringa”.  So when I met Edgar, it was nice to be able to sit down and really talk to someone.  The exciting part was that it came easy, my Spanish didn’t seem like a huge mess and if it was, he has the most incredible patience with me. 

So fortunately, he is from the city.  That has about a million advantages, because the people in my site tend to be a little rough around the edges and very traditional.  He is a little more open minded and we both can laugh at the ridiculousness of the people in my town at times.  He works in my town 8 days on and 8 days off.  So when he is off,  I usually schedule my monthly visits into the city so we can spend normal time together.

What I mean by “normal time” is that, not a single person in the city cares about whether or not we are a couple.   So we can hold hands, or go on dates, and no one is looking at us.  However, in my town every single person cares about whether or not we are a couple and the news of it as well as rumors spreads instantly from house to house.  I don’t really care about anyone knowing about us, but I do care that they tend to make up stories that aren’t true.  Even my own host family tried to say that he has a wife that lives in my site.  Incredibly false, another police officer who works here does, but not him.  But that simply can make both of us can look like bad people.  Literally, I will be walking around town minding my own business and people will stop me and ask about my relationship with him.  He has the same problem, people come to the police station just to ask if I am his girlfriend.  We both tell the truth, it is better if they here it from us then their crazy neighbor, just goes to show how simple people in my town.

Recently, I went and met his family in Piura.  My host family had been bugging me about this because they wanted me to be sure he didn’t have another family (meaning a wife and kids in the city), this is how crazy and untrusting they are.  The visit was really scary for me, not because I believed he had a wife.  First, I get nervous about meeting new Peruvians because I am afraid I will not understand them.  I get really comfortable in my circle here in my site, that when new people come in I tend to worry I won’t understand their dialect or accent.  So I was really worried about being surrounded by his family.  Secondly, Peruvians live with their parents until they get married.  So it made me think they would be even more protective of their 27 year old son.  He also has 3 sisters, and being a sister myself, I know how judgmental we can be of our brother‘s girlfriends.  Also, I was the FIRST girlfriend he had ever brought home, so that left me under more scrutiny.  Lastly, and most importantly, I am American.  This tends to be incredibly intimidating.  People think they need to set up their house differently to impress me, and cook an outrageous meal they normally would not.  They get more nervous then me, and I don’t like that.  Plus, I am an American dating their son, and my time here in Peru has an expiration date so I thought this would be something else that worried them too.  People always tell him how lucky he is that I “picked” him.  Like I am some queen sitting on my throne and have my choice of anyone I want and he should feel honored that he was the one I choose.  Really annoying!!!

It turned out that his family was really nice, and I understood them easily.  He also didn’t leave my side because he knew how scared I was.  They did pull out their nicest of nice things that day for lunch.  There were also a few questions as to whether or not I was going to marry him and if I was going to take him back to the United States with me.  Just a little uncomfortable, but Edgar diffused that for me and the conversation moved on.  Overall it was a good day.  I liked hanging out with them. 

Just recently, another volunteer told me that by dating a Peruvian, that I am going to have an experience different then other volunteers that I will probably find very valuable.  I agree, I am learning so much and having a lot of fun.  He has helped change my experience right here in my site, definitely has become more fun having someone to spend my time with.  Plus, I really like this guy, he puts my ex-boyfriends to shame.  He is just way more attentive and caring, and I do not believe he has a selfish bone in his body.  We will see what happens!!!

Family Visits- Part 2

We finally reached my house.  This part I was most nervous about. Mostly because I knew it would be difficult for my family and my host family to communicate since neither of them knew the other's language.  Also, I was nervous because I knew my host family would be nervous to have my family in the house, as well as there are so many cultural differences I was hoping no one would offend the other.  So after the warm introductions and awkward pauses, I went straight for the ice breaker and brought out all of the toys and gifts my family brought.  Starting with the stove top my parents bought for my host Mom while we were at the market in Piura.  She was thrilled and had it hooked up in time to prepare dinner later  that night.  Next we got into the toys.  The kids were thrilled.  My Mom and I had gone through all the toys in advance while we were in the city and we had a bag prepared for each kid with their name on it.  It seemed that the most popular toys were the babies.  The little girls absolutely loved their baby dolls.  There also was a really excited moment from my 6 year old host nephew about transformer shaped bubbles, he ran into the room holding it up like a prize and screaming for everyone to look.  I think the kids were so overwhelmed with some of the toys they didn't even know what to do with themselves.  My parents had brought babies and barbies, and trucks that made noises and drove, nerf guns, action figues, play doh, games.  So much stuff these kids were in heaven.  I would like to say it was like Christmas, except these kids don't even get gifts on christmas, and they barely get one on their birthdays.  So more then likely it was like nothing they had ever experienced before.  And they were all so excited to see what eachother got.  Even Iker, who is only 11 months old got a brand new truck and he was on the floor playing with that. 

Next, my Mom had brought a few more things for the girls, she brought a bunch of old navy flip flops in all kinds of colors.  So all of my host sisters got those too.  They seemed really excited, especially since they are always trying on my flip flops and saying how comfortable they are. Also, my Mom had brought lots of chocolate, so sitting by the pool the night before in Piura, my Mom, Dad and I put together over 50 bags of chocolate to be passed out in my town during their visit.  My host family probably would have been happy with the chocolate and no more. 

My Mom's buddy Leo came by too.  He is my 3 year old neighbor who doesn't have a mother.  She was only 12 when she had him and left soon after.  My Mom has heard the story and even talked to him on the phone, so she brought some special stuff for him.  Part of it was a plastic rifle that came with a cowboy belt and bandana and a few pairs or clothes.  At first he acted shy, but with time, and in Leo fashion he warmed up quickly.  He showed up first thing the next morning while we were still in bed with his rifle in his hand ready to shoot at us.  It was really cute.  Then, when my Mom gave him his new clothes I put them on him immediatly and he walked around showing everyone his new stuff.  Sadly, his new clothes look just like his old clothes only 2 weeks later....hopefully with a nice wash they will look good again.

After all the gift opening hype, my host Mom served us lunch.  It was a lunch I had never seen before.  The table was set really nice, with the folded cloth napkins and matching tablecloth I had given her when I first came to live there.  And we got the good chicken I never get to eat served realy pretty with rice in the shape of a circle.  After 10 months of living there, I have NEVER seen her put on a show like that.  It was really nice of her to go out of her way to impress my family with all of that.  Later on, I took my family to see the sites of Chipillico. We saw all the places I always talk about, and they got to see a little bit of life in Chipillico, where we wash our clothes, get water, the donkies, the pigs, the goats, everything!  I loved seeing their reaction to all the parts of Chipillico that have become my life and normal to me.

Later on that night, we headed over to BJ's town so they could meet him, as well as see what a Peruvian party is like because BJ's town as celebrating it's anniversary.  I was even surprised to see his town in party mode.  There were all kinds of vendors from all over.  We were there kind of early so not a whole lot of was going on, but there were a good amount of people out.  We even ran into his host Mom who was carrying the prize winning rooster from the cock fight earlier that night.  Alex was really excited to get his picture taken with the rooster.  We ended the night there by showing my family a true peruvian drinking circle, but kept it between us since I didn't think anyone would be too excited about having to share the glass with random strangers. Afterwards, we rode back to my town in the dark in moto taxi's.  My Dad said the bumpy ride was not as romantic as I had made it out to be!

When we got back to my site, we prepared my room for the night.  I had bought air mattresses and we blew them up and Alex and I slept on those on the floor.  My parents hopped in my double size bed, and in the end that left about 2 feet of walking room.  I had told them that for the 2 night we were in my site that we might just have to become a little bit of a closer family and share the little potty they had sent me.  No one was down for peeing in the same room, so at multiple times during the night everyone would get up to use the bathroom outside either alone, or sometimes we went in groups, because usually when one of us got up, we were all up.  At another point during the night, I hear my Dad say "something is crawling one me", next thing I know he is up with a flashlight looking around.  He claims it was a scorpion.....I am no so sure about that!!!

After a pretty sleepless night, we woke up the next morning to begin a full day in my site.  It started off with everyone using my shower, my nice solar shower, they sent me filled with creek water.  No one seemed really excited about that like I was.  I think it was an adjustment for them to be outside with the turkeys and chickens taking a shower.  I thought it was hilarious!!!

Next, my host mom made us a nice bread and fried egg and coffee breakfast, and we hit the town.  First stop was the cementary, where we had a photo shoot with a preganant donkey on top of a gravesite.  Next, we headed towards the center of town where my Mom and Dad snapped a few pictures of a dog eating a pig right there in the middle of town.  Next we started running into my people and passing out candy.  My Dad and Alex nailed the peruvian cheek kiss with all of the women.  I was really proud of them.  We then headed to the health post so they could see where I worked and meet my coworkers.  Everyone again was excited to recieve chocolate.  At the end of the street we stopped off at the school.  I checked to make sure it was okay if we walked around a little, except I didn't expect what happened next.  Little by little the kids and teachers started coming out of the classrooms and windows to take a look at the "gringos" walking around.  Usually I get a little attention when I am there, but it was more so with my Mom and Dad and Alex.  They got to see a few classrooms and take lots of pictures, I just kept handing out the candy to make sure the teacher's didn't mind the disruption too much.  We went to one class and took pictures, and a few minutes later all the students came running out with their tests to take more pictures.  It was so cute.  They absolutely loved seeing my family, and even more they loved having their pictures taken.

Finally, my parents realized we needed to escape because they kids were coming at us from every direction.  It's funny, even though they know my family can't speak spanish, they don't hesistate to talk to them constantly.  My host family did the same thing, even when I wasn't around to translate they would just go talk to my family, and I would walk in and both parties would be looking at eachother confused.  My Dad tried really hard to use hand signals to explain...i am not sure if it worked.

The rest of the day we saw a few more sites, took lots of pictures, and headed back to the house for a real peruvian lunch. I asked my host Mom to cook all my favorites and she did.  They even killed a turkey to celebrate the occasion.  My Mom had witnessed my host Dad sharpening his knife on a rock outside that morning, that same knife was probably used to kill our lunch.  I think this was a first for my family.

The rest of the day we just hung out in front of the house, BJ came by, and many other kids and people, mostly just to look at us.  We pulled out their new candy land to play, and even play doh.  Turns out my host family is incredibly creative and came up with some pretty cool stuff for the play doh.  It was just so great to see them enjoying all their new toys, and it was fun having my family spend time with them too.

  Later that night when it got dark the frogs came out, and my host family is deathly afraid of frogs.  So I had Alex pick up one of the frogs and taught him how to ask my host sister in spanish if she liked it.  So he went into the house with the giant frog and held it to her face and asked in spanish if she liked it.  All she did was scream.  My whole family started running outside and made him put it down and wash his hands right away because they believe it causes warts.  It was probably my favorite part of the visit to my house. 

Overall, that part of the trip went way better then I expected.  My two families not being able to communicate wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it was going to be.  It was amazing how much they could both communicate without knowing their languages. My mom was telling at one point in the morning my host Dad waved her over while he was feeding the guinea pigs to show her.  My Mom really liked it and took lots of pictures.  Just everything, they each sensed how happy the other one was, and there was a sense of understanding and affection even though they couldn't speak to eachother.  It was actually a really great experience for me to witness and it made me really happy that my family could be there to share this part of my life with me.  I think it is a memory we will all have forever. 

All in all things were great, but after 2 nights in my site, I was ready to move on and start the real part of the vacation.  The next stop was the beach!!!!!!

"Iraq has got it going on compared to here"...Family visits-PART 1

So the along awaited for vacation with the parents and Alex has come to an end.  It was an absolutely wonderful two weeks, and it took everything in my to not want to run down the terminal in the airport and go back home with them.

I was almost surreal when I hoped on the plane heading for Lima to go meet them.  It had been 10 months since I had seen them.  Although we get to talk all the time, I have never been seperated from my family for that long.  At first when I got to Peru all I wanted was for them to be with me.  However, after 10 months I have established a life here, and it just felt really strange that in a short amount of time they were about to see it and be apart of it. 

I got to Lima much earlier then them, so I checked into the hotel and enjoyed a nice hot shower and some pizza hut while I waited to go back to the airport to pick them up.  Once at the airport I realized it would probably take them awhile to get off the plan and out of customs, it just ended up being much more time then I anticipated.  I was so anxious, and there were so many crowds in the airport waiting for their loved ones too.  Finally after getting pushed further and further away from the ropes, I went to the second floor so I would get a better look when they came through.  The first person I saw was Alex, he had anticipated I would be up there looking down, so I ran to give him a huge hug.  Then my parents came out a few minutes later.  That was a moment I had long awaited for.  Very emotional, but happy emotional.  We had talked about that moment for a really long time.  Then, I noticed the ridiculous amount of luggage they brought.  My Dad had been telling me for weeks how they were planning on packing light.  From what I saw, it was just the opposite!!!!  I knew they brought some things for me, and some things for my host family.  But WOW!

After so much preparing and planning it all seemed to go really well.  I tried to take it easy on them, because I knew there would be point that it became a little more difficult (my site!).  So we spent the first few days at a really nice hotel sitting on a cliff overlooking the ocean.  Lima has become a place I look forward to going too because it's like being back in a little mini-america.  There we are in a city that resembles any other city I have ever visited, with American restaurants, stylish people and all the other small things I sometimes miss about home. We did lots of shopping in the artesians market, and Mom bought everyone she knows a gift.   But I realized, once I was sitting in Chilis with my family eating a hamburger that they didn't come to Peru to do everything they did in America, so after a few days there seeing the sites, I and them were ready to move on.  Plus, Lima is really ugly and cold this time of year, like London, and they didn't come on vacation to wear jackets.

The next part of our big adventure was going to be the overnight bus trip to Piura, this trip can usually be anywhere from 14-16 hours.  I don't have to do it often, but I have become acustomed to traveling this way.  I was really worried about my family doing it, just because I knew they probably wouldn't like it.  So I bought the  best seats the bus line had to offer in hopes I could make them as comfortable as possible.  Fortunately, it worked!  They all absolutely loved the bus ride, they thought it was really cool and much nicer then they expected.  Even more so, my Dad liked that it meant no paying for a hotel or meals for the night because we also got dinner and breakfast on the bus. 

The other part, that I knew would happen was in that overnight bus ride we would quickly leave my little America part of Peru and head out to a place that looked drastically different then they were used to, this part I was most excited for.  In the morning when we woke up, there were no more city buildings, instead we were in Chiclayo, a town in Northern Peru, about 6 hours south of where I live.  The first thing Alex said was how it reminded him of Ramadi, one of the places he visited during his deployments to Iraq.  He said the buildings and the sandy dirty town was identical. 

Once we arrived in Piura after the 16 hour trip, everyone was excited to get off the bus, mostly because after a night of traveling the bathrooms had become really disgusting and my Mom and Dad were grossed out and ready to move on.  The bus station is located on a strip in Piura where there is nothing but bus stations and the market, it is not the safest part of town, and it is definitely farthest from the prettiest part of town.  They said how it reminded them of something they would see on a travel show.  Just pure craziness.  My Mom took lots of pictures while we piled into two tiny taxis headed or our hotel.  All of this was making me nervous. I am so used to doing all of these exact same things alone.  I have gotten accostumed to making sure I keep a close eye on my things and I know the language and feel comfortable enought to get around.  But doing it with people who don't know a word of Spanish and weren't taking me seriously enough on some of the safey issues made me a little nervous.  Same with splitting up in taxi's...I just hoped my Dad and Alex ended up at the same place.  They did, however, they said they believed their taxi driver was yelling about the constuction or something the whole time.

Our stay in Piura city was only for the night, we went and got laundry done, relaxed by the pool, went to one of my favorite spots for dinner.  I even took them to the market, which I think was the most stressful part of the trip for me.  The market is a disgusting dirty place filled with tons and tons of vendors.  At the market you can buy almost anything you could ever even think of.  However the market is dangerous.  I have witnessed a friend get robbed a foot away from me and have had more friends get robbed there, one even had her earrings stolen right out of her ears.  For those reasons, as well as the crowds I just hate being there.  On the other hand, my family loved it!  They loved seeing how it all works and just the craziness of it.  I was able to get them out of there after I took them to the meat section and they saw the many many animals that were gutted and hung all over the place, the smells the flies and all of that made them ready to leave. 

The next morning I knew the "real adventure" was about to begin.  I was going to be taking my family to my site.  Every part of the visiting my site experience is truely an experience.  We first headed over to the bus station.  Normally I might pass on one of the really really nasty buses, especially in the summer when it's really hot, because normally the seats are really small and it's hard to get comfortable when you are crammed into the seat with someone else, and it is kind of a long ride.  But on this particular day, with all of our luggage, there wasn't room to be picky, we took the bus that was waiting.  It was kind of fun, it added more to the experience.  We sat in the back.  My parents were actually in the seat behind Alex and I that fits 5 people because it goes across the entire back of the bus.  My Mom unfortunately was on the end that meant she had to sit next to someone else, and with her luck it was a smelly person.  Alex and I were smooshed into the seat in front of them.  Depending on the day, it can be a 3 hour ride.  However, my family saw how quickly the city of Piura faded into rural towns that all look exactly alike.  Once we reached Las Lomas, we switched all of our luggage into a taxi.  I found a taxi driver who agreed to take the 4 of us an no one else because normally that means one of us would have to share the front seat with someone else, and I don't think anyone was willing to do that. 

The trip to my site is about a 30-45 minute ride, and it's a really really bumpy rocky road.  It was so hilarious having them make the trip with me.  I have gotten so used to it, at points I even fall asleep.  But seeing their expressions reminded me of the first times I had made that trip.  There are parts where the car goes through water and sometimes it even gets into the car, and they worried about it the same way I did my first time around.  Fortunately in all the parts that are the most interesting people were out putting on their usual show.  At the part where the water gets in the car, there was a guy cleaning out his truck engine in his underwear, it was a beautiful day so when we got to the lake it looked amazing, and the taxi drivers always drive like maniacs so they got to experience that too. 

At one point, when we were getting closer into my town, my brother said "Jillian...Iraq has got it going on compared to here", I think that was the most surprising statement of the entire trip.  His deployments in Iraq sounded absolutely horrible.  But he said they had it more together over there.  He said my town looked like it was poorly built and people just throw things together.  He said it looked really really rough.  I was shocked!